Now there are two different types of people that came to read this post. The first are the moms that are truly searching to find a way to balance all the different parts of their lives and the others are the ones that are here ready to judge every aspect of this post.
Well sorry friends but I think this post is going to disappoint both groups of you.
I’m just going to come out and say it, kind of like ripping off a band aid.
THERE IS NO PERECT BALANCE IN LIFE.
(Especially in motherhood.)
I know the idea of finding that perfect balance in life is a daydream we all have from time to time, but I’m here to tell you it doesn’t exist in the real world. Yes, even for those moms on Facebook and Instagram that make it look like they have their lives all perfectly put together. Honestly, you’d have better luck at winning the lottery and finding a magical unicorn than you would at finding the perfect balance in motherhood.
Here’s why. Motherhood is unpredictable. Trying to find this magical balance in motherhood means you have this expectation that each day will go the same way. For example; you wake up, make a great healthy breakfast for the kids, you get homeschool done before 10am, the kids nap on time, you get to all your household chores, dinner is made, ready, and on the table when you husband gets home from work, the kids are bathed and in bed on time, the house is picked up, and you get to spend 2 hours working on your business. Now doesn’t that sound nice? I know, I think so too.
The thing is life doesn’t always go that way. Actually, life RARELY ever goes that way. Can you see the things I didn’t list above? Yeah, sibling fits, kids getting hurt, emotional meltdowns, sicknesses, doctor appointments, errands, phone calls, distractions, and so much more.
Not only is motherhood unpredictable but different seasons in motherhood require more or less of our attention. For example, newborns require A LOT of our attention so during this time in motherhood most of the day to day stuff gets pushed to the side while you take time to adjust. What about sicknesses? Have you ever had a bad cold or even the flu hit your house? It goes from person to person to person and it seems like it takes forever for it to finally be out of your house. These seasons are survival mode seasons. Let me repeat that, these seasons are SURVIVAL MODE SEASONS! You just have to give yourself grace and move forward.
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The trick to finding a “balance” in motherhood isn’t about figuring out how to do it all, but more about being realistic with the season you’re in. Here are my tips to help you find your “balance.”
1.Learn YOUR Current Season
Each season of motherhood can be drastically different. You may be in the newborn season and life is just day by day at the moment. Maybe your kids are all toddlers with minds of their own so you’re learning how to let them be independent. Maybe you have teens and in this season you’re both learning how to navigate the surge of hormones. Heck, you could even be a mom who is currently living in a few of these seasons at the same times.
Whatever it is identify it. This will help you realize what you can realistically add to your plate or on the flip side you’ll realize that you need to take some off.
2.Give Yourself Grace
If you’re in a season where it’s survival mode, then you need to learn how to give yourself grace and just embrace the season. To read more about that check out this post.
3.Don’t Compare Your Journey to Others
Remember that your journey is just that, YOUR JORNEY! The life that other’s let you see isn’t necessarily the whole truth. Yeah, their pictures may seem perfect on Instagram but I can promise you they probably still yelled at their kids today, have a room or two (or three) that are a hot mess in their house, and are struggling with their own inner critique. So, focus on your journey and your journey only! If you want more inspiration on this subject check out this POST.***
4.Focus on 1 Area/Goal at a Time
When you try to add 10 things to your plate, focus on 6 different areas of your life, and have a goal list longer than the last Harry Potter book, then you need to do some prioritizing and weeding. If you can narrow your goal down to 1 big goal at a time you will be more likely to actually achieve it because your focus is narrowed. Also this will automatically elevate other areas of your life without you even trying! Trust me!
To learn more about correct goal setting check out this category section of my blog.
5.Learn When Your Using Just Another Excuse
There are defiantly seasons when you need to take stuff off your plate, but on the other hand there are also seasons when you need to stop offering up excuses day after day and start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. During this time, you will need to just give yourself a kick in the rear and get to work. If you do great one day and then the next day you find yourself struggling to stay on task, then see tip number 2 and repeat!
6.Ask For Help
Never think you can get to your end goal by yourself. You will need help. Period. End of story. Check out this post to learn how to ask for help and some ideas on how help from others can help you reach your goal.
Being able to “do it all” is a myth. No one does it all. We all have help in some way and we all make sacrifices at different times in our life. When we want to work out more we have to sacrifice sleep and wake up earlier. When we want to start our business, we have to sacrifice time and energy to chase our dream. It’s not about learning how to “do it all” it’s about prioritizing what’s most important to you. Just remember to identify your season of motherhood first, give yourself grace, don’t compare your journey, focus on 1 area or goal at a time, learn when to stop giving excuses, and ask for help! You can find your balance you just have to realize that it doesn’t have to include “all the things!”